Putting trivia on my resume

I just had the most illuminating conversation with a recruiter. (Yes, I'm getting calls every week. This is so much less awful so far than 2002 was.) Knock wood

I already knew that HR people and recruiters search resumes for certain buzzwords, which is why my resume now lists every software I've ever used in my entire career, even if some of the software is pretty much a given within my line of work.

Now I've discovered why this isn't good enough. I also have to exhaustively list every activity involved in performing my job, no matter how universal it is to the job. For example, any technical writer can tell you that the job requires you to refer to various resources (documents, people, a product) in order to get the information you need to complete the work. However, the HR community doesn't seem to know this.

So, it turns out that for as long as I've been doing online job searches, I've been falling through a lot of HR nets because I neglected to include the secret word "interview" on my resume, e.g. "interview analysts." ("Interview" does seem to be the standard word, so if I'd said "consult with analysts" I'd still miss.)

I don't know yet what the secret verb is for reviewing specification documents. Read? Review? Inspect? Refer to? Use? Peruse?

I guess HR's ignorance explains why I am constantly encountering lengthy, detailed job application questionnaires asking how much experience I have performing each of the many minuscule mundane general tasks that comprise any tech writing job, such as "using word processing software."

Yes, really. I had to answer that question twice on Friday on different job applications.

The same recruiter also told me that it is even worse for software developers. More buzzwords. You have to guess what they are when you write your resume. You can't assume anything.

What's funny about this, not that I'm feeling amused right now, is that I went to a "career consulting" place this morning (old job pays for it) and their advice about resumes was very touchy-feely: Don't just repeat the job description. Tell them who you ARE.

Ha! Maybe that works in non-technical fields. In the software industry, as long as you match their description, they don't give a shit who you are. You might as well cut and paste their job description into your resume. It's the only way to make sure you used the right words.

I'm so, so tempted to upload a resume to Monster that's simply a list of words and phrases, with no employer names, dates, sentences, or even formatting. Just to see what will happen.

Alas, I can't really afford to screw around with my job search...