Slurm withdrawal: Futurama opening credit captions

I worked on this thing, casually, on and off for years and years, even though I suspected that someone had probably already dutifully posted them week after week during the show's original run.

It took a long time, because I kept missing them and then waiting for the rerun. I finally finished the list during Adult Swim's Farewell Futurama marathon last week.

I'm sure this simple list already exists on the Internet someplace, but I couldn't find a finished one during my lazy-ass four-second Google search, so I'm just going to post what I've got, seeing as how I've already typed it slowly over a period of many years. (I did find a few lists that were incomplete, but mine's complete, so nyah.)

You can find detailed episode information about each episode, including the opening captions, here. And over here is a neat site that includes the cartoon snippets used in the opening credits for at least the first 62 episodes.

This is nothing so fancy. It's just the list. See here for a similar list of Bart Simpson's chalkboard scrawlings.

1. IN COLOR
2. IN HYPNO-VISION
3. AS SEEN ON TV
4. Presented in BC BRAIN CONTROL where available
5. Featuring GRATUITOUS ALIEN NUDITY
6. LOADING...
7. PRESENTED IN D O U B L E V I S I O N (WHERE DRUNK)
8. Mr. Bender's Wardrobe by ROBOTANY 500
9. Condemned by the Space Pope
10. Filmed on Location
11. Transmitido en Martian en SAP
12. PROUDLY MADE ON EARTH
13. LIVE FROM OMICRON PERSEI 8
14. (Brought to you by Glagnar's Human Rinds) MADE FROM MEAT BY-PRODUCTS
15. NOT Y3K COMPLIANT
16. FROM THE MAKERS OF FUTURAMA
17. Based On a True Story
18. From the network that brought you "The Simpsons"
19. (Brought to you by Arachno-Spores) THE SHOW THAT WATCHES BACK
20. Not Based on the Novel by James Fenimore Cooper
21. Nominated For Three Glemmys
22. This Episode Has Been Modified To Fit Your Primitive Screen
23. Coming Soon to an Illegal DVD
24. As Foretold by Nostradamus
25. A Stern Warning of Things to Come
26. SIMULCAST ON CRAZY PEOPLE'S FILLINGS
27. LARVA-TESTED, PUPA-APPROVED
28. (Brought to you by Molten Boron) FOR EXTERNAL USE ONLY
29. PAINSTAKINGLY DRAWN BEFORE A LIVE AUDIENCE
30. TOUCH EYEBALLS TO SCREEN FOR CHEAP LASER SURGERY
31. SMELL-O-VISION USERS INSERT NOSTRIL TUBES NOW
32. Not a Substitute for Human Interaction
33. Secreted by the Comedy Bee
34. IF NOT ENTERTAINING, WRITE YOUR CONGRESSMAN
35. THIS EPISODE PERFORMED ENTIRELY BY SOCK PUPPETS
36. BROADCAST SIMULTANEOUSLY ONE YEAR IN THE FUTURE
37. Now With Chucklelin
38. TORN FROM TOMORROW'S HEADLINES
39. 80% ENTERTAINMENT BY VOLUME
40. Deciphered From Crop Circles
41. PLEASE RISE FOR THE FUTURAMA THEME SONG
42. KRAFTED WITH LUV BY MONSTERS
43. (Brought to you by Thompson's Teeth) Bender's Humor by Microsoft Joke
44. DISCLAIMER: ANY RESEMBLANCE TO ACTUAL ROBOTS WOULD BE REALLY COOL
45. FEDERAL LAW PROHIBITS CHANGING THE CHANNEL
46. FOR PROPER VIEWING, TAKE RED PILL NOW
47. NO HUMANS WERE PROBED IN THE MAKING OF THIS EPISODE
48. SCRATCH HERE TO REVEAL PRIZE
49. PSST... BIG PARTY AT YOUR HOUSE AFTER THE SHOW!
50. Hey, TiVo! Suggest this!
51. FUN FOR THE WHOLE FAMILY (EXCEPT GRANDMA & GRANDPA)
52. PLEASE TURN OFF ALL CELL PHONES AND TRICORDERS
53. LOVE IT OR SHOVE IT
54. IF ACCIDENTALLY WATCHED, INDUCE VOMITING
55. BIGFOOT'S CHOICE
56. IT'S LIKE "HEE HAW" WITH LASERS
57. WHEN YOU SEE THE ROBOT, DRINK!
58. SOON TO BE A MAJOR RELIGION
59. OR IS IT?
60. CONTROLLING YOU THROUGH A CHIP IN YOUR BUTT SINCE 1999
61. Not affiliated with Futurama Brass Knuckle Co.
62. KNOWN TO CAUSE INSANITY IN LABORATORY MICE
63. NOW INTERACTIVE! JOYSTICK CONTROLS FRY'S LEFT EAR
64. DANCING SPACE POTATOES? YOU BET!
65. WHERE NO FAN HAS GONE BEFORE
66. A BY-PRODUCT OF THE TV INDUSTRY
67. TOO HOT FOR RADIO
68. YOU CAN'T PROVE IT WON'T HAPPEN
69. BEATS A HARD KICK IN THE FACE
70. VOTED "BEST"
71. THANKS FOR WATCHING, FUTURAMA SLAVE ARMY! (Written in symbols; diligent fans cracked the code)
72. SEE YOU ON SOME OTHER CHANNEL